i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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