your room smells of hookers.
And success
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
