literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i came on her dog
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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