my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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