found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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