Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize