Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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