My first STD was from a foam party
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
