(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
