Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize