So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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