with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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