Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
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