Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
