maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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