He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
