At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
There r osticjed everywhere
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
