That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
