I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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