I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
