I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize