Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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