He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
