I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
