I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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