never play flip cup with pint glasses
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
50% drunk capacity currently
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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