You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
