As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
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i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
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I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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