at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
