he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
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For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
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It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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