Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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