i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
