Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
