This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize