You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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