I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
