does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
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So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
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Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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