I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize