Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
