Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.