just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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