What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
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