I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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