i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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