youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
