you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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