My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
