pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
