this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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