she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize