blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize