We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
