Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
