but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
