Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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