Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
