Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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