I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
