i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
